Cat's new year's resolutions
SENT BY A FIREND... Subject: Cat's new year's resolutions (holy hell this is funny!) My human will never let me eat the pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage. I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.) I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks. We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep. I cannot leap through close d windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again. I will not assume the pat...